This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
