Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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