Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
