she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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