Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
