I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
