I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
