Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
