he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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