Jerry, you need to find god
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
