Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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