I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
