I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
