yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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