Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
