YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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