Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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