And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
