i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
