i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
