Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
