called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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