So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
