Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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