Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he was CRYING into my vagina
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
