Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
