Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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