Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
