I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
