There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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