this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
