You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
