hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
