Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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