walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Welp...herpes.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
