hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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