Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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