But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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