even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
