My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
