Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
