How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
