You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
