she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize