the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
