this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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