I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
