the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
