now i know why i became what i already was.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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