Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
